Friday, February 27, 2009 Y 7:45 PM I SURVIVED OBS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AMAZING!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHA YES.I MADE IT BACK ALIVE! (: this is what i wrote in my OBS journal... ***ho xueqi u scolded alot of four letter words during these 5 days.thats the only exception!NO MORE!!! or u better slap urself in the face!!!>=( AND IM VERY PROUD OF U!!! GO XUE! U ROX! U COMPLETED IT! and u built muscles!!!!(: u survived on 1.5 litres of water in 5 days!!!! (: *sammy is damn cute!hahahha (: with love: xue (: Y7:45 PM
Sunday, February 22, 2009 Y 10:31 AM Service yesterday was ultra fun (: after service our cell had dinner together ^.^ after eating halfway some guys from other calls came to join us too!xD and we played loads of games with cards.24...indian poker... sister elaine,jing and some others had to do forfeit!HAHAHAHAHAHA ;X ULTRA FUNNY.AT MACS SOMEMORE.HAHAHAH my sueyness seriously amazes me i seriously duwwana go for OBS T.T... with love: xue (: Y10:31 AM
Friday, February 20, 2009 Y 10:53 PM @Take My Hand it was DA BOMB those who missed really should kick yourself in the butt (: anyways it was really meaningful every single word hit me real hard then i realised. hey.all this is true... in fact, it happened/is happening to me favouritism family.friends "your special ones" they dont last.not even family even they dissappoint you. their not always there. but GOD IS. god fills our cups with love it really is ultra super true. been dissappointed too many times but never was it by god the show was so touching i wanted to cry (partly cuz i realised it was like my "life" story) today really meant alot to me wanted time to just stay still ): but when it was all over i realised it was back to normal. reality. sighs.i hate reality. everytime i go to trinity i find myself walking out free of troubles its really ultra amazing no wonder jing was so inspired to be a christian god above all. so anyways it started with a balloon game. throwin balloons around and when the music stopped people had to stop throwing too (i was hit on the head MANY times) (somehow it was still fun) alas.red balloon was on ME WHEN THE MUSIC STOPPED x.x i hurry throw to kay ;x poor girl was sitting next to me.hahahaha she obviously didnt want it either so she threw it and it landed on the ground.xD(poor balloon) shhhh dun tell anyone the balloon stopped at me! ;x well.u see.people that got the balloons and are picked have to answer a question and duh i did not want to answer x.x anyways one of the questions was "what is the bext valentines gift you have ever recieved" Pastor Andy:"listen up guys.learn some tips" hahahhahahha girl:"erm...i think words mean a lot to me so when i recieve cards with really nice words in it i think to me its the best gift." its the same for me.hahas. words whereby i can feel the sincerity totally touched~(: i HAVE recieved touching ones. a few... two... ._. nevermind. hahahaha anyways pastor andy is ultra funny!!!!(: i shall not post any here cuz i aint gonna let u lazy bums who dint go gain! xP your fault for not going!!!!!! so anyways after the whole thing jing recieved a rose from her fren who dint wan it o.o so i stole it for awhile and ended up taking pictures of it ;x and ended smelling the rose for 20 minutes.hahaha really ultra super nice smell! i officially love roses!(: on top of that.it was PINKKKKKKKKK!!! ;x hehes ;x sigh... the world family still remains a maze to me noone cares. "if only..." "i'll never be good enough for you" so anyways on the way back (on the bus) there was this weird guy like turning and turning he was looking out for bukit timah plaza but it was like in a REALLY WEIRD MANNER he bent down like 90 degrees and just kept swinging and turning i cant help but stare.hahahahahhaha then the caucasion saw it too. then we stared at each other and giggled hahahahaha seriously!i was trying to control!cant help it!;x
with love: xue (: Y10:53 PM
Thursday, February 19, 2009 Y 7:35 PM 就知道。。。 本来就不应该对他有希望。 果然。。。 希望越大,失望越大
with love: xue (: Y7:35 PM
Wednesday, February 18, 2009 Y 7:08 PM VDAY PRESSIE PICS! (:
with love: xue (: Y7:08 PM
Monday, February 16, 2009 Y 6:19 PM "When Someone Insults You, It Does Not Reflect On You, It Reflects On That Person." -copyrighted!(:
with love: xue (: Y6:19 PM
Y 6:13 PM hello all human beings reading this! (: if you READ THIS u are hereby invited to... "Take My Hand"! (: true stories inspired by love! a production brought to you by IGNYTE :D its a late valentines day thingy (: 20th Feb, 7pm Level 4 Auditorium cyou there!
with love: xue (: Y6:13 PM
Saturday, February 14, 2009 Y 9:33 PM 14th valentines day of my life!(: this time its different. for the first time in my life... i spent it with.... god! hahahahahahahaha. u dint seriously think i have a boyfriend do u? :P so anyways todays service creeped me out a little bit the last prayer part was like omg there were people crying D: ): so oh well. i pray for everyone to be happy!(: i was waitin for the bus and i must have seen at least 15 couples walk by and i was actually happy for them! o.o but what hit me was when i saw a family. father mother child. typical? maybe to you. but you shouldve seen them... hands together strolling down the path... it was just so..... un-explainable it was just the most touching sight ever. i guess my decision to believe in christ was right. ive seen and noticed things ive never did before in the past just...b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l ;) btw thanks for your presents everyone!deeply appreciate it!(: p.s/ please wait patiently for pictures to be posted up soon! :D
with love: xue (: Y9:33 PM
Y 7:28 AM I HATE YOU ALL.I HATE YOU ALL.I HATE YOU ALL. NOTHING I DO IS NEVER RIGHT OR ENOUGH FOR U. TRUST MY ASS. DAMN U ALL. with love: xue (: Y7:28 AM
Thursday, February 12, 2009 Y 2:56 PM So why DO sisters hate each other?By TERRI APTERLast updated at 10:29 08 March 2007 Sisters can be the greatest rivals and the closest companions Cambridge University psychologist Terri Apter has studied the extraordinary bonds that unite and divide sisters for a groundbreaking book, The Sister Knot. Here she tells TESSA CUNNINGHAM what she discovered: My sister Marion, a hugely successful dermatologist, rang the other day. Her voice bubbling with excitement, she started regaling me with details of her latest achievements at work. Listening to my clever sister talk, my heart swelled with pride. But there was another much more uncomfortable feeling, bubbling under the surface. While I dutifully told her I was thrilled for her, a tiny part of me also wanted to scream: 'I hate you.' Quite simply, I was green with envy. How dare my sister, who's four years older, do so well. If she's such a success, what sort of failure does that make me? I know, that instinctive reaction was mean, nasty and irrational. After all, we don't work in the same field - and, at 57, I'm surely old enough to be beyond such petty jealousies. So why was I seething? Why on earth couldn't I simply be happy for her? It all comes down to the knotty problem of being sisters. As I've discovered during my research for my book, the relationship between sisters is one of the most complex there is. It shapes our relationships throughout the rest of our lives - with our friends and workmates. In short, we play out the sisterly role with other women. If that sounds all sweetness and light, forget it. Our sisterly feelings are likely to be a seething mass of resentment, fear and envy. And that famous idea of the 'sisterhood' - promoted by our mothers as they battled for equality in the workplace - is more likely to be a mask for rivalry and infighting, which explains why even super-successful career women feel so threatened by each other.
Other psychologists have exhaustively investigated family relationships and their impact on shaping us. But until now, no one has examined the intricate relationship between sisters. For my book, I interviewed 76 sets of sisters aged from five to 76 and the results are both shocking and fascinating. I started my research because I was fascinated by my feelings for my sister. I wanted to understand what lay at the root of our love-hate relationship. Most women - particularly those without sisters - have an idealised version of growing up in a huge female family. Literature is full of examples of gangs of sisters supporting each other through thick and thin. Think of Louisa M. Alcott's Little Women. Encouraged by the saintly Beth, the March sisters inhabit a world of cosy companionship, revelling in each other's qualities and basking in each other's successes. As a child I used to read Little Women and wonder what on earth was the matter with me. Why didn't I adore my sister, Marion, the way Jo adored her sister Beth? Now I know. It boils down to deadly rivalry. Interestingly, this has nothing to do with your place in the family.
One of my earliest memories is of watching my mother and my sister hugging each other. My mother bent low into the embrace and I seethed. I was determined to separate them. Racing forward, I charged between them. My mother was so shocked, she pushed me aside. I felt my shoulder hit the wall but I was more stunned by her fury. 'Don't be so petty and jealous,' she chided. How had she seen through me? I was red with shame. It never occurred to me my feelings could be so common. I vividly remember on another occasion, aged six, looking at my sister, busily brushing her hair in front of the mirror, and wishing her dead. My sister would take every ounce of love and attention that I needed. She was quite literally destroying me. Envy like that is primeval. Our sister is our biggest champion and greatest companion but she's also our most deadly competitor, and while every child vies for attention and love from its parent, the rivalry between sisters goes much deeper. With a sister - someone of the same sex who looks and acts like us - we are fighting to establish our own identity and personality. They spark a fear of being usurped, because a sister threatens our place in the family and in the world. A girl looks at her sister and thinks: 'If I have what I envy in her, or become her then I will be loved by the people who matter to me most. If I don't have what I envy or become the sister I envy, then she will rob me of the love I want. And then no one will protect me and I won't matter to anyone.' Envy between brothers is subtly different, I think, because boys are less likely to feel their whole personality is undermined by a brother. Boys are more objective, less sensitive, and more goal orientated. With women, the rivalry can become all-consuming. One woman I interviewed, Jane, now 32, still shudders when she recalls the hatred she felt for her sister. As a sleepwalker, she was frightened she would murder her - acting out the aggression she could control when she was awake. 'I felt utterly repulsed by her,' she says. 'When we sat in the back seat of the car I would look out of the window so I couldn't see her at all. But one sound of her breath, or that disgusting noise she made when she pulled her thumb out of her mouth and sighed, made me realise she was there.' 'I'd kick her or kick the back seat and someone would shout at me and that would make my blood boil and I'd really know what it's like to explode with anger.' We all remember in spine-tingling detail the Sisters know each other inside out - so they know exactly how to humiliate and embarrass each other. Meng, now 27, recalls her outrage when she discovered that her sister, who's three years younger, would be coming to 'her' school. 'I told her that anyone who went into the toilet at break time would never make any friends,' she admits. 'So she didn't go to the toilet all day. I ran home after school, knowing she was in no state to keep up with me, and when she cried and wet her pants I felt the most awful pleasure.' Of course, one of the cruelest ways to score points against a sister is to steal her boyfriends, something which, I discovered, is all too common. Annette, in her 30s, admits she regularly stole her older sister's men - just to prove she was as lovable and desirable. 'I never thought about whether I liked them or not,' she says. 'I liked them simply because they liked her. My entire sense of what I was worth was related to what my sister was worth. Eventually of course I grew up. But even today my sister can't believe I won't steal men from her. When her marriage broke up, she accused me of having an affair with her husband - which I wasn't.' With time we learn that, even though our sister may be our deadly rival, we are perfectly capable of being every bit as successful and happy as her. But the jealousy can run so deep that we never totally lose it - with unexpected consequences. Sisterly envy is, I'm sure, at the root of why women find it so hard to be supportive in the workplace. They won't even offer a helping hand to women who can't possibly be any threat to them. Women at the top often act as though there isn't enough room for anyone else. Sounds familiar? It's a habit learned in the nursery. The unconscious feeling is: 'If my sister (for which read colleague or friend) is pretty and successful, then that makes me a failure.' One woman I spoke to was acutely aware of how sibling tensions still affect her. Donna is 25 but she still struggles with a form of envy that bears all the hallmarks of the nursery or the playground. 'When a woman called Susan came to our company for the job interview, she immediately set my nerves on edge because she was attractive but also clearly very intelligent and switched on,' she says. 'I tried to be dispassionate, but how could I? I just felt blinded by irritation. Maybe even rage. She's the kind of woman my mother would love me to be. 'I could see her becoming the star of the boardroom. She'd make me invisible. I was deeply ashamed - but she frightened me.' It also helps explain why women are so critical of the way other women choose to live their lives. Sisters grow up comparing not just their appearance and skills, but their choices. And underlying the comparison is the fear - have I made the wrong choice myself? That's why, at work, women don't just question whether another woman's going to oust them but whether another woman's got a better life. Is she managing to juggle career and motherhood better than me? Again, her success doesn't threaten us in any rational sense. But we can't help envying her - the way we envied our sisters. Sisterly rivalry also explains our love-hate relationship with our female friends. We model our behavior with them on the way we treated our sisters. So, if your friend gets a promotion at work, you'll be thrilled for her but part of you may also be envious. Her success doesn't threaten you, but nevertheless, you fear that her success will somehow diminish you. Having said all that, I do not want to paint all sisters as hellcats. While they are liable to bring out the very worst in us,
I spoke to so many sisters who loathed the way they were labelled by their parents. Instead of finding their own personalities and qualities, one was told she was 'pretty' while the other was 'clever'. The scars run very deep. I'm also convinced that, while sisterly rivalry may be painful, it's healthy. To say it's character building is true. Through jostling with our sisters, we learn who we are and - equally importantly - how to stand up for ourselves in the wider world. My sister and I are close now, but I know that even when we're ancient, she'll still be telling me to put my coat on when it's cold, and I'll still boil with anger every time at her bossiness. I HATE YOU. the older one gets the piggybacks and the younger one?I SERIOUSLY HATE YOU. with love: xue (: Y2:56 PM
Y 2:39 PM i'll never be enough. i hate you. i hate you all. even ex offenders deserve their pride. what sort of family are you. hate u to the coreeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! seriously?damn you. with love: xue (: Y2:39 PM
Sunday, February 8, 2009 Y 12:03 PM finally went to trinity yesterday (: it wasnt as bad as i thought it would be in fact...it was pretty cool ;) maybe its just me. when they started dancing i kinda felt warmth. hmmm.... people there are really friendly too (: and i got "first timer" gifts.haha and a mug that said "im a trinitarian" !!!!:) i decided to go back on a weekly basis. xueqi is gonna improve herself!(: with love: xue (: Y12:03 PM
Friday, February 6, 2009 Y 9:21 PM omg saw a ultimate freakin cute guy today he looks like he walked out of a comic book! like seriously.u gotta see it to believe it. CUTENESSSSSSSSSS. with love: xue (: Y9:21 PM
Monday, February 2, 2009 Y 3:33 PM chinese test today.omfg i know the cheng yu i dunno how to write so basically i lost 7 marks straight =.= dotdot D: anyways.at jings house now!(: using her LAPPY. gah everyone has one but me ): sadness luh. omg _________ U SUC. BLOODY DSVDFVDFBDFVD xueqi hates you.deal with it. qin po is like stuffing me with food.hahahaha and i got another ang pao today!(: then i'll have enough to buy my camara!(:soon hopefully :S jing has this secret box thing from india i was playing with like 5 minutes ago. and i opened it!!!(: i rawk. she said noone ever knew how to open before.HAHAHAHA okay ultra boredom.x( with love: xue (: Y3:33 PM
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the girl♥ ♥Singapore Chinese Girls' School ♥singaporean ♥169cm ♥18th august 1994 :D ♥leo ♥xueqi94@hotmail.com ♥freethinker/christian ♥proud member of trinity IGNYTE ♥btw.this is MY blog so u DONT hav the right to spam LEO - The Lion Great talker. Attractive and passionate. Laid back. Usually happy, but when unhappy tend to be grouchy and childish. A Leo's problem becomes everyone's problem. Most Leos are very predictable and tend to be monotonous. Knows how to have fun. Is really good at almost anything. Great kisser. Very predictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found.generous.affectionate and impulsive.a mine of information.great with kids and a practical joker. peeping toms her story♥ her fantasies♥ ♥canon powershot E1 in pink =3 ♥lappy ♥WALK-IN-WARDROBE:D ♥GO NEWYORK!AND ITALY...MILAN.PARIS.VENICE.(basically travel all around the world):D ♥to have all of the above come true her loves♥ her idols♥ her hates ): smokers LIARS chitchat :D ESCAPE my youtube profile :D my friendster :D my facebook :D IGNYTE@Adamblog (: 2pr o8! :D audrey ariel amelia agatha alex (: abigail ashley annabel benedict (: cassie charmarn (: celine (: carolyn constance ethel (: erin jing (: kailin lizzie lyn lynn liser maryanne mariann michelle pearl ruth (: shanna (: sherri silyn tanya yirong audition (: aruki baybie belle bunny sherena! ;x candia claris jiajia jiaxuan judith meiyi (: mei socksie (: sherman yiling yaoguaii yuting ~Y2K~ (: ~Y2K~ blog (: ~Y2K~forum (: ~Y2K~Haru ~Y2K~JANEE ~Y2K~TeXaS ~Y2K~WawA her past♥ June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 tunes♥ credits (: xue (: images: photobucket |